Fourth Post

The Second Day: The following passage seems scratchily scrawled, as if the writer had been jittery or perhaps overjoyed while scripting the entry. You notice what seems to be little spots of water, and can only wonder if it is perhaps beads of drool.

Today I walked into Hogger’s butchery. I was disguised as an average Joe, ready to buy some of his questionable proteins. After asking the animal, which had somehow developed adequate speaking skills, a few annoying questions, I settled on the chicken. Ahh yes, chicken, perhaps the most dangerous of protein. I then walked over to a table, sat down, and unwrapped the chicken leg that I had purchased. I then began to chew on the chicken leg, and shirked at its cold, raw texture. I then pretended to choke on a piece of the chicken, and did my best to create a large, dramatic scene. Before anyone could reach me, I coughed up the piece of raw chicken I had been holding in my mouth. The following dialogue ensued:

“Vile creature,” I exclaimed, “this chicken that you have sold me has almost choked me to death, and it is raw!”

The beast let forth a slight cackle, and then said, “Foolish human, I do not sell the food prepared for consumption. You are to cook the chicken yourself. As for the choking, you need to chew your food better.”

I grew enraged, and yelled, “ Foolish? I am the fool, you say?! Well I say you are the fool, ugly thing! I can feel the onset of salmonella in my system.”

The creature let forth a guttural, frustrated sigh. “I have said, human, that the poultry and other meats I sell are not prepared for eating. If you get sick, it is your fault alone.”

I then revealed myself. The creature narrowed its eyes and chewed the air in anger. “Villain! You may have thought me entirely defeated, but I shall never forget what you have put me through,” I continued, “even though we have no forest or youth in us in which to conduct battle, I shall still get my revenge. You say the sickness would be my fault, would you? Well I say that my lawyers have something different to say about that!”

Hogger’s ears pricked up in thought, and he said with a confused tone, “What shall you bring me to your courts for? Have I done something wrong?”.

I grinned at the abomination wickedly. Whether he had done something wrong or not, he shall soon pay for what he has done to me.